Let me start off by saying that most of the time, these guys are charmers and great actors who will charm you to no end, making you feel like you have met your prince charming - until they get you, you fall madly in love and then the bomb drops and the fists start swinging.
The signs are not always obtrusively blatant but there are definitely some signs that will make you raise an eyebrow rather quickly. Follow your instinct. If your gut is telling you something is not right, follow it. Possessiveness and controlling ways are two MAJOR red flags. Some signs to look out for:
1. He falls crazy for you really quickly and becomes ready to settle in rapidly: Wants to move in with you and live with you within a few months and smothers you.
2. He is really jealous: Constantly accuses you of flirting with every guy you encounter (waiter, bus driver, guy passing you by...you get my drift...) and getting jealous if you talk to other guys even if they are friends.
3. He texts you all day and gets angry if you don't text back in a timely manner that he feels fit.
4. You suffer from anxiety if you feel you are going to be late because you know how angry he will be.
5. You get a lot of make up gifts from him to try and charm you into not leaving him and taking him back.
6. You find that you don't do anything without him or without him approving for you to do things.
7. He doesn't think your family and friends are worthy of you and appreciate you: this starts the alienation of your family and friends.
8. You suffer from anxiety if you miss his phone call because you know how angry he will be.
9. He argues with you about the clothes that you wear because they are "too tight" or "too sexy" and demands that you change them.
10. He wants to the passwords to your voicemails, email and social media accounts so he can monitor you.
1. You find out he had a violent relationship with a former girlfriend.
2. He stalks you at work, online or with GPS in your car
3. He has hurt animals.
4. He is ever physically violent to you.
Test the relationship early on by canceling a date or running into an old male friend while he is present and watch his reaction. If he gets jealous and/or angry, take heed to the signs. A guy shouldn't get angry if you talk to another guy or cancel a date (he may be a little disappointed that you canceled but not in a rage).
An abusive guy can charm the smartest person. Oftentimes, the abuser even has your family and friends fooled. The most important thing...recognize the signs, RUN from that relationship immediately, and look back on it as a life lesson. Remember, you deserve the best and you should never stay in an abusive relationship ever!